Yale gives Paul McCartney honorary music degree

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP) - Paul McCartney can now add one more honor to the numerous awards, accolades and the knighthood he has already received. The ex-Beatle was awarded an honorary Doctor of Music degree from Yale University. In granting the honorary degree to McCartney—Sir Paul McCartney since he was knighted in 1996—the university said no one compares with the legendary songwriter. Yale said the 65-year-old McCartney awakened a generation, giving a fresh sound to rock and roll and to rhythm and blues. A band played "Hey Jude," a Beatles hit, as McCartney walked on stage to accept the honorary degree. Yale University President Richard Levin evoked some of the songwriter's most memorable lines.
"Here, there and everywhere," Levin said, quoting a line from a Beatles song, "you have pushed the boundaries of the familiar to create new classics. We admire your musical genius and your generous support of worthy causes."

Phoenix Spacecraft Reports Good Health After Mars Landing

A NASA spacecraft has sent pictures showing itself in good condition after making the first successful landing in a polar region of Mars.

The images from NASA's Mars Phoenix Lander also provided a glimpse of the flat valley floor expected to have water-rich permafrost within reach of the lander's robotic arm. The landing ends a 422-million-mile journey from Earth and begins a three-month mission that will use instruments to taste and sniff the northern polar site's soil and ice. "We see the lack of rocks that we expected, we see the polygons that we saw from space, we don't see ice on the surface, but we think we will see it beneath the surface. It looks great to me," said Peter Smith of the University of Arizona, Tucson, principal investigator for the Phoenix mission.

Wild Boars Thwart Car Thief's Getaway

Police in Schwerin, northern Germany, said the 18-year-old abandoned a stolen vehicle he was driving yesterday after failing to shake off a chasing patrol car by driving into a field. Police nabbed his passenger immediately. But they said the driver initially got away by running into nearby woods. Officers then heard the fugitive shouting for help - he had run into a herd of angry wild boars that were keen to protect their young. Police rescued the man from the boars and took him into custody.

Tibetans losing faith in talks, says Dalai Lama

By Lionel Barber, Lifen Zhang and James Blitz in Nottingham, England

The Dalai Lama has given a stark warning that he is losing the support of many of his followers inside Tibet because of the Chinese government’s refusal to strike a deal with him over the territory’s future. As he continues a tour of European cities to rally support for Tibet’s autonomy from Beijing, the 72-year-old Nobel laureate has expressed hope that China will begin serious negotiations with his representatives over greater autonomy for the region in a few weeks’ time. But in an interview in the UK with the Financial Times, he indicated that more radical Tibetans, who urge violent confrontation with China, are increasingly losing faith in his strategy of securing autonomy through peaceful dialogue. Asked whether he was losing control over his followers, the Tibetan spiritual leader, said: “Yes, naturally. My efforts have failed to bring concrete results, so this criticism is becoming stronger and stronger.” He repeatedly rejected calls for the Tibetan cause to be pursued through violence. “We must carry forward that just cause through non-violent principles,” he said. “If the violence grows out of control, then my only choice is to resign.” But he warned that in recent times, many Tibetans had been showing “clear signs of frustration” with the lack of progress he has been making in talks with the Chinese. “There are many Tibetans who have the view that our non-violent approach is not having an effect.” Next month’s meeting between the Dalai Lama’s representatives and the Chinese authorities will be critical in determining whether Beijing can contain the Tibet issue ahead of the Olympics.

Dumb Ass Hall of Fame #4 - Dumb Joke

BERLIN - Authorities in southern Germany have taken custody of a seven-month-old boy after his parents posted an ad on EBay offering to sell him for one euro (US$1.57). Police spokesman Peter Hieber says the baby was placed in the care of youth services in the southwestern Allgaeu region. Hieber said today that the mother told police the Internet ad was only a joke. Authorities have begun an investigation into possible child trafficking against the parents. No offers were made for the child in the two hours and 30 minutes the ad was posted and the Internet auction site deleted the posting later. Several people who saw the ad alerted police.

76-year-old breaks Everest record

KATHMANDU, Nepal (AP) -- A 76-year-old Nepalese man reached the summit of Mount Everest on Sunday and became the oldest person to climb the world's highest mountain, a tourism official said. Min Bahadur Sherchan reached the 8,848-meter summit early in the morning with his climbing guides, said a Nepal Tourism Ministry official, Ramesh Chetri.
Sherchan was just 25 days away from his 77th birthday, Chetri said. He beat the record set last year by Japanese climber Katsusuke Yanagisawa, who scaled the peak at age 71. Sherchan was in good health and was descending from the summit, Chetri said. The former soldier climbed smaller mountains before Everest and has been an active sportsman, Chetri said. He said about a dozen climbers scaled Everest on Sunday following one of the busiest weeks in the mountain's climbing season. A veteran Sherpa guide scaled Everest on Thursday for a record 18th time. Appa, who like most Sherpas goes by only one name, reached the summit along with several colleagues. He was among more than 80 climbers to reach the summit that day -- the largest number ever in a single day from the Nepalese side of the peak.

All they needed was a crashed milk truck

MORRIS, Ill.—Police say a trailer loaded with 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos has overturned, spilling the cookies still in their plastic sleeves into the median and roadway. Illinois State Police Sgt. Brian Mahoney says the truck's driver was traveling from Chicago to Morris on Interstate 80 around 4 a.m. Monday when he fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into the median. "The boxes came out of the trailer and boxes were ripped open," he said. The crash about 50 miles southwest of Chicago remains under investigation.

Memorial Day Quotes

In war, there is no prize for the runner-up. -General Omar Bradley

So long as there are men there will be wars. -Albert Einstein

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. -Albert Einstein

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. -John F. Kennedy

As I approach the gates of heaven;
St. Peter I will tell;
One more soldier reporting sir;
I've served my time in hell.
-Mark Anthony Gresswell

War is too serious a matter to entrust to military men. -Georges Clemenceau

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue. -Senator Barry Goldwater

Chance has never yet satisfied the hope of a suffering people. Action, self-reliance, the vision of self and the future have been the only means by which the oppressed have seen and realized the light of their own freedom. -Marcus Garvey

The cost of liberty is less than the cost of repression. -Web Dubois

The story of America's quest for freedom is inscribed on her history in the blood of her patriots. -Randy Vader

Ballad Of The Green Beret

By Barry Sadler and Robin Moore

*
Fighting soldiers from the sky

Fearless men who jump and die

Men who mean just what they say

The brave men of the Green Beret

*

Silver wings upon their chest

These are men, America's best

One hundred men will test today

But only three win the Green Beret

*

Trained to live off nature's land

Trained in combat, hand-to-hand

Men who fight by night and day

Courage peak from the Green Berets

*

Silver wings upon their chest
These are men, America's best
One hundred men will test today
But only three win the Green Beret

*

Back at home a young wife waits

Her Green Beret has met his fate

He has died for those oppressed

Leaving her his last request

Put silver wing's on my son's chest

Make him one of America's best

He'll be a man they'll test one day

Have him win the Green Beret.

Freedom Is Not Free

By - Kelly Strong

I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
and then he stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud,
He'd stand out in any crowd.
I thought how many men like him
Had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many pilots' planes shot down?
How many died at sea?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, freedom isn't free.

I heard the sound of TAPS one night,
When everything was still
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times
That TAPS had meant "Amen,"
When a flag had draped a coffin
Of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, freedom isn't free.

Lost parrot tells veterinarian his address

TOKYO—When Yosuke the parrot flew out of his cage and got lost, he did exactly what he had been taught -- recite his name and address to a stranger willing to help. Police rescued the African grey parrot two weeks ago from a neighbor's roof in the city of Nagareyama, near Tokyo. After spending a night at the station, he was transferred to a nearby veterinary hospital while police searched for clues, local policeman Shinjiro Uemura said. He kept mum with the cops, but began chatting after a few days with the vet. "I'm Mr. Yosuke Nakamura," the bird told the veterinarian, according to Uemura. The parrot also provided his full home address, down to the street number, and even entertained the hospital staff by singing songs. "We checked the address, and what do you know, a Nakamura family really lived there. So we told them we've found Yosuke," Uemura said. The Nakamura family told police they had been teaching the bird its name and address for about two years. But Yosuke apparently wasn't keen on opening up to police officials. "I tried to be friendly and talked to him, but he completely ignored me," Uemura said.

Dumb Ass Hall Of Fame #3

Colorado men exchange Taser shots over parked van

BOULDER, Colo.—It wasn't exactly pistols at 30 paces, but police say a security company supervisor and a restaurateur shot each other with Tasers in a "bonehead" confrontation over parking. Officers said neither man needed medical attention after the Saturday confrontation, but Harvey Epstein, co-owner of Mamacitas restaurant, was arrested on suspicion of felony menacing and using a stun gun. A police report said Epstein and Casey M. Dane, a supervisor for Colorado Security Services Inc., were arguing over a metal boot that one of Dane's guards had clamped on a wheel of a van parked behind Mamacitas. Dane told police he was afraid Epstein was going to hit him with a 2-foot-long pair of bolt cutters. Epstein told police he had only tried to remove the boot with the bolt cutters and hadn't threatened anyone with them. Epstein told police Dane put his hand on a holstered pistol and threatened to shoot him. Dane told The Associated Press by telephone that he did put his hand on the holstered pistol but never threatened to shoot Epstein. Both men drew Tasers. "They shot each other," Police Sgt. Pat Wyton told the Camera newspaper. "It was just kind of a bonehead deal." The guard claimed the van, owned by a Mamacitas employee, was on property he was hired to patrol. The van owner denied that. Epstein, 36, told the AP in a phone interview Sunday he took out his Taser only after Dane pointed his at him and his mother, who was also outside. Epstein also said Dane repeatedly told him he was a police officer and that failing to comply with his orders was a federal offense, allegations that Dane denies.

Australian clocked speeding at 263kmh in makeshift car

An Australian driver has been caught speeding at 263 kilometres per hour (164mph) in a car held together with plastic cable ties, police said Thursday. Police said officers conducting speed checks late Tuesday stopped the driver on the Hume Highway near the New South Wales town of Mittagong after clocking him allegedly driving at almost two-and-a-half times the 110kph limit. They said the driver's turbo-charged 1995 car had a body kit secured with cable ties, an unsecured dashboard and a battery held in place with a rag and bracket. The car's interior smelled strongly of petrol fumes when officers inspected the vehicle, police said. They said the 21-year-old driver, who allegedly told police he had spent the day at the races, had been charged with driving at a speed dangerous to the public and was due to appear in court on June 16.

WHY MEN DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS

Sample Letter
Dear Walter, I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work Leaving my husband in the house watching TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bed with the neighbor. I am 32, my husband is 34 , and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago, and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?
Sincerely, Sheila

Sample Response
Dear Sheila, A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter

Lee DeForest, 1926 (American radio pioneer) - OOPS

"While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially I consider it an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time dreaming."

Great Advertising

Mother Of The Year

EASTON, Pa. (AP) - A former Bethlehem woman will serve up to 23 months in prison for having her 7-year-old son dress as a Cub Scout to collect money for a nonexistent cause. Sally Ann Gombocz, 51, told a Northampton County judge she wanted to apologize to anyone she hurt. She previously pleaded guilty to theft by deception and corruption of a minor. Gombocz had her son dress as a scout in 2003 and tell people he was raising money for a camping trip. A prosecutor says the family collected $69. Gombocz was sentenced Friday to six to 23 months in the county jail. She also was fined $2,000, ordered to perform community service, take parenting classes, have psychological counseling and submit to random urine screens. She also must pay restitution.

Great Advertising

Ohio township to feds: We don't want your money

CLEVELAND (AP) - The federal government isn't used to being snubbed when it offers to help local governments. When it offered Chardon Township in Ohio $10,000 in disaster aid for a snowstorm in March, the locals said no thanks. Township Trustee Chuck Strazinsky told The Plain Dealer for a story published Friday that it was a typical snowstorm unworthy of federal aid. He says the money should be reserved for true emergencies. Township Trustee Steve Borowski disagrees with the decision, saying help from the federal government shouldn't be turned down. Last month the Federal Emergency Management Agency included Geauga among 17 Ohio counties eligible for disaster aid.

First speeding ticket issued - May 20th, 1899

Jacob German, operator of a taxicab for the Electric Vehicle Company, became the first driver to be arrested for speeding when he was stopped by Bicycle Roundsman Schueller for driving at the "breakneck" speed of 12mph on Lexington Avenue in Manhattan. German was booked and held in jail at the East Twenty-second Street station house. He was, of course, not made to hand over his license and registration, as neither item was required until two years later in the State of New York. It seems fitting that our country's first arrest for reckless driving should be leveled at a New York cabbie.

Great Advertising

Scientific American, Jan. 2, 1909 - OOPS

That the automobile has practically reached the limit of its development is suggested by the fact that during the past year no improvements of a radical nature have been introduced.

Dumb Ass Hall Of Fame #2

CONFLUENCE, Pa. (AP) - Two Somerset County men are charged with trying to steal live power lines that were still attached to a transformer and utility poles. Police said Kevin Lee Lytle, 27, and Daniel Jay Basinger, 24, both of Confluence, were shocked during the theft attempt on May 3 in Lower Turkeyfoot Township. Both were charged Wednesday, but only Basinger was well enough to attend his arraignment on the attempted theft charge. Police say the incident disrupted power to area residences for about five hours. Penelec Power Co. owns the lines which suffered $1,500 damage.

Great Advertising

Hungry bear, cub take refuge on building's roof

BUCHAREST, Romania (AP) - A mother bear and her young cub stopped traffic and caused panic Thursday in central Romania after they roamed through gardens in search of food and finally climbed the stairs of a 4-story building and broke onto the roof. A rescue team tranquilized the mother after failing to steer her toward a nearby forest, officials said. Residents had reported that the bear and her cub were wandering through gardens and breaking fences in search of food in downtown Brasov. Traffic was stopped for two hours as a team tried to get the animals back to the wilderness. "The bear cub was very small and could not keep up with its mum, and she did not want to go back to the forest without it," said Flavius Barbulescu, head of the animal protection service. The animals finally took refuge in a building, climbing the stairs to the attic, breaking a window and then clambering onto the roof. "That was when we decided to tranquilize the mother," Barbulescu said. Rescuers shot the bear with a dart gun. Once she was asleep, they removed her and her cub from the roof and took the pair to the zoo in an operation shown live on TV. Officials said the animals would be sent to a nearby bear reservation.

Great Parenting

Mama Ain't Playin'

Square Watermelons

A round watermelon can take up a lot of room in a refrigerator and the usually round fruit often sits awkwardly on refrigerator shelves. Smart Japanese farmers have forced their watermelons to grow into a square shape by inserting the melons into square, tempered glass cases while the fruit is still growing on the vine.

Egypt millionaire fraudster jailed for a millennium

An Egyptian man was sentenced to 1,000 years behind bars on Thursday after scamming hundreds of people out of 280 million pounds (around 52 million dollars), a court official said.
The Giza criminal court sentenced Abdullah Kamel Mohammed, 42, for cheating 480 people out of their money over several years. "He would promise people that he would invest their money for them and bring them good profits, but he would take the money and disappear," the source said. "Over the years, he made about 280 million pounds." Mohammed was arrested in Cairo in November after a neighbour who had been conned recognised him and called the police. The official did not say when Mohammed might be eligible for parole.

Gorilla celebrates her 55th birthday with frozen cake

DALLAS—Jenny, recognized as the world's oldest living gorilla in captivity, celebrated her 55th birthday Thursday with a four-layer frozen fruit cake and banana leaf wrapped treats at her wooded home in the Dallas Zoo. Her caretakers say she's having a few joint issues and her eyesight isn't what it used to be but she still looks good for an old ape. "It's a special milestone for us," said Todd Bowsher, curator of the zoo's Wilds of Africa exhibit. "It signifies that we've made great strides in veterinary care, nutrition and animal husbandry." The International Species Information System, which maintains records on animals at 700 institutions around the world, said Jenny is the oldest gorilla in its database. "I think it's amazing," said Kristen Lukas, curator of conservation and science at Cleveland Metroparks Zoo in Ohio and the gorilla species survival plan coordinator for the Association of Zoos and Aquariums. "I think it's a testament to the good care that she's received at the Dallas Zoo and also the resilience of gorillas in general." "It's a good time for the zoo," said Sean Greene, director of Community Relations for the Dallas Zoological Society. He said the upbeat birthday party was a welcome contrast to the tragedy that occurred in 2004 when another gorilla, 13-year-old Jabari, broke out of his enclosure. The 300-pound ape went on a 40-minute rampage in which he snatched up a toddler with his teeth and attacked three other people before officers shot him. So to what does Jenny attribute her longevity? She's not saying. But her vegetarian diet couldn't hurt: seeds, cereal and one of her favorites, banana peels.

Woman's dead body lies in flat for 35 years

ZAGREB, Croatia (AP) -- Governments have changed. War erupted and ended. Neighbors had children, and then grandchildren. But Hedviga Golik never left her tiny apartment in Croatia's capital -- until her mummified body was carried out this week, 35 years after she died. Police said Friday that no one ever reported Golik missing and no one has come to claim her body. Residents of her loft building in downtown Zagreb had broken into Golik's flat after deciding that the apartment should belong to them, and not to her. Startled by the remains in bed, they called police. Forensics experts said Golik likely died in 1973, about the time a neighbor last saw her. Expert Davor Strinovic said she seemed to have died of natural causes, but "it's almost impossible to say for certain" after so much time. Some of Golik's neighbors claimed she had talked about going abroad. Experts said her windows had been open, likely diminishing the smell. It remained unclear who -- if anyone -- was paying her bills and who exactly owned the apartment. In the 1970s, when Golik died, apartments were state-owned. Neighbors now argue the apartment should be divided among the remaining tenants. The discovery of Golik's body on Tuesday prompted media debates on how it is possible for a woman to die so long ago without anyone noticing. One local journalist said it showed people were becoming more alienated. "My dear neighbors! Please keep on being curious and a bit tiresome, as you have been so far," Merita Arslani wrote in the Jutarnji list daily.

Woman Pays Off 1976 Parking Ticket

CALUMET, Mich. (AP) - Police in this Upper Peninsula town had forgotten about the $1 parking ticket written on Sept. 1, 1976. But the woman who had found it on her windshield hadn't.
The ticket, a $20 bill and a note arrived at police headquarters last month in a plain white envelope with no return address. The note read: "I always had good intentions of paying it. I put it aside and every once in a while I would come across it and said 'someday I'm going to pay it.' Now I think it's time." The fine for an unpaid meter violation increased to $5 after 72 hours, said Police Chief David Outinen, but it hadn't increased beyond that. He told The Daily Mining Gazette of Houghton that he couldn't remember someone making good on an unpaid ticket after so much time. The woman apparently hopes her payment closes the matter. "Please don't try and track me down. I am a respectable lady," she wrote.

Girl Scout sells 17,328 boxes of cookies

DETROIT—A Girl Scout sold 17,328 boxes of the group's signature cookies this year by setting up shop on a street corner, shattering her troop's old mark and probably setting a national record. Jennifer Sharpe, a 15-year-old from Dearborn, plans to travel to Europe with her troop with the proceeds from her feat. "It's always been one of those goals I wanted to accomplish," Sharpe said Wednesday. The two bakeries that make the cookies said Sharpe sold more than anyone this year, according to Dianne Thomas, spokeswoman for the Girl Scouts of Metro Detroit.

Michelle Tompkins, spokeswoman for the New York-based national organization, called the figure "amazing" but said there's no national record on the books. "We're thrilled for the girls who take it to such a great level, but so far, we don't track it at the national level," she said.
Sharpe sold cookies every day on a street corner with help from her mother and troop leader, Pam Sharpe. "We were always there; we never closed," Pam Sharpe said. "At one point, Jenny got really sick and we did shut down early, and we heard about it the next day." Jennifer Sharpe's Troop 813 raised about $21,000 in cookie sales, paying for its 10-day trip to Europe this winter. Troops get only part of the proceeds from their members' sales.

The cookie program has helped push Jennifer out of her shell, Pam Sharpe said. "It's made her really confident," she said. "I remember when she first started selling, she was very shy and quiet and you had to push her out to talk to customers, but now she's right out there, first to the door." One thing that hasn't changed, despite selling thousands of boxes for the past few years, is Jennifer Sharpe's feelings about the cookies. "I love them," she said.

Preamble to States Constitution

Wyoming 1890, "We, the people of the State of Wyoming, grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties, establish this Constitution.."

Preamble to States Constitution

Wisconsin 1848, "We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility..."

Preamble to States Constitution

West Virginia 1872, "Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon God ..."

Preamble to States Constitution

Washington 1889, "We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution"

Preamble to States Constitution

Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights, XVI "Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other"

Preamble to States Constitution

Vermont 1777, "Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man."

Political Donations - Top 20

Labor unions wonder why they don't get much support from Republicans.

Top Donors: 2008 Cycle Summary - Dem's Rep's
American Fedn of State, County & Municipal Employees $39,165,934 98% 1%
AT&T Inc $38,929,795 34% 64%
National Assn of Realtors $31,928,656 49% 50%
American Assn for Justice $28,539,389 95% 4%
Goldman Sachs $28,367,132 62% 37%
Intl Brotherhood of Electrical Workers $27,580,809 97% 2%
National Education Assn $27,355,449 87% 12%
Laborers Union $26,269,589 86% 13%
Service Employees International Union $25,408,993 91% 6%
Carpenters & Joiners Union $25,389,482 74% 24%
Communications Workers of America $24,817,879 98% 0%
Teamsters Union $24,773,864 90% 8%
Citigroup Inc $24,643,677 53% 44%
American Medical Assn $24,511,421 32% 67%
United Auto Workers $23,720,205 98% 0%
American Federation of Teachers $23,214,443 99% 0%
Altria Group $23,081,795 36% 63%
Machinists & Aerospace Workers Union $22,791,645 98% 0%
United Food & Commercial Workers Union $22,082,112 98% 1%
United Parcel Service $21,829,443 32% 67%

Based on data released by the FEC on March 03, 2008.

George's fable: the tortoise and the chair

A giant tortoise called George had to be rescued by the British fire brigade after becoming entangled in a garden chair, its owner said Friday. "All I could see was this chair walking around the garden by itself," said 45-year-old hairdresser Tina Jones, describing the moment she came home to find her stricken pet.
George, a 20-year-old South Africa Sulcata tortoise who is 30 inches (76 centimetres) across and 18 inches (46 cm) tall, became stuck in the chair's metal legs in Jones' back garden in Ramsden Heath, Essex, north of London. "I couldn't get him free and ended up calling the fire brigade for help. The fireman cut one of the chair legs with a hacksaw," said Jones, who breeds giant tortoises as a hobby. She explained that George was allowed to wander in the garden on sunny days. "He's absolutely fine now. Wandering around as normal," she added. "He wasn't distressed. He's very nosey and will wander in the house if the back door is open." Fireman Matt Furber said: "The tortoise was about the size of a dustbin lid. It had gone under one of those metal-framed garden chairs and got stuck. The chair had then sort of collapsed on it." "Without doubt it's the strangest call I have ever received," he added.

"We in Denmark cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election in the US.

On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a war hero married to a hot looking woman who owns a beer distributorship.

Is there a really contest here?"

Preamble to States Constitution

Utah 1896, "Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution."

Political Contributions By Industry

Beer, Wine & Liquor: $2,779,783 57% to Dems / 43% to Repubs
Business Associations: $516,998 24% to Dems / 76% to Repubs
Business Services: $689,656 52% to Dems / 48% to Repubs
Casinos/Gambling: $692,409 60% to Dems / 40% to Repubs
Chemical & Related Manufacturing: $1,081,285 41% to Dems / 59% to Repubs
Food & Beverage: $1,310,700 32% to Dems / 68% to Repubs
Lodging/Tourism: $306,420 53% to Dems / 47% to Repubs
Misc Business: $182,500 41% to Dems / 59% to Repubs
Misc Manufacturing & Distributing: $1,994,720 48% to Dems / 52% to Repubs
Misc Services: $273,645 61% to Dems / 37% to Repubs
Recreation/Live Entertainment: $106,571 65% to Dems / 35% to Repubs
Retail Sales: $2,375,882 45% to Dems / 55% to Repubs
Steel Production: $488,728 50% to Dems / 50% to Repubs
Textiles: $72,950 32% to Dems / 68% to Repubs
Based on data released by the FEC on March 03, 2008.

Preamble to States Constitution

Texas 1845, "We the People of the Republic of Texas, acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God. "

Francis Bacon

This is certain, that a man that studieth revenge keeps his wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well.

Preamble to States Constitution

Tennessee 1796, Art. XI.III. "That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience..."

Maimonides

Do not consider it proof just because it is written in books, for a liar who will deceive with his tongue will not hesitate to do the same with his pen.

Preamble to States Constitution

South Dakota 1889, "We, the people of South Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties."

Thomas Paine

A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.

Preamble to States Constitution

South Carolina, 1778, "We, the people of he State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution."

Fine feathers don't make fine birds.

A PEACOCK spreading its gorgeous tail mocked a Crane that passed by, ridiculing the ashen hue of its plumage and saying, "I am robed, like a king, in gold and purple and all the colors of the rainbow; while you have not a bit of color on your wings.""True," replied the Crane; "but I soar to the heights of heaven and lift up my voice to the stars, while you walk below, like a cock, among the birds of the dunghill."

Preamble to States Constitution

Rhode Island 1842, "We the People of the State of Rhode Island grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing..."

Preamble to States Constitution

Pennsylvania 1776, "We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance..."

Dumb Ass Hall Of Fame - #1 - Charles Ray Fuller

FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) - Charles Ray Fuller must have been planning one big record company. The 21-year-old North Texas man was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion check, saying he wanted to start a record business, authorities said. Tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious—perhaps the 10 zeros on a personal check tipped them off, according to investigators. Fuller, of suburban Crowley, was arrested on a forgery charge, police said. He was released after posting $3,750 bail. Fuller said his girlfriend's mother gave him the check to start a record business, but bank employees who contacted the account's owner said the woman told them she did not give him permission to take or cash the check, according to police. In addition to forgery, Fuller was charged with unlawfully carrying a weapon and possessing marijuana, Fort Worth police Lt. Paul Henderson said. Officers reported finding less than 2 ounces of marijuana and a .25- caliber handgun and magazine in his pockets, police said.

Preamble to States Constitution

Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I Section 2. "All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences"

Huh!

"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it." -Barack Obama